In the words of Peppa Pig to Mummy Sheep (Suzie the Sheep’s mum)… ‘Do you work or do you play?’

I always believed that I could be the mum that had it all. I’d ‘lean in’ and embrace the juggle of a family and career. My mum didn’t work until I started school, and even then I was fortunate enough to be collected by my mum or my dad every day until I was old enough to moan that my heels were too flat and my skirt was too long for the mixed playground.

And I would certainly be someone to do the same. I’d be there for anything that they needed at any time that they needed it.

Only I hadn’t appreciated that school timings don’t marry up with almost any regular job, let alone a round the clock medical job. I didn’t appreciate that at some point I’d also have to find time to go to the gym (my sanity check) and therefore would have to rely on other people to assist me with childcare. Either that, or take significant time out of my career (a career I feel is needed to give me an inner confidence and to stimulate my mind in a way that I truly do enjoy, and well-pays the bills as my husband keeps reminding me.)

No one prepared me for the ongoing guilt of motherhood. If I work more often, will I miss out on things that I’ve taken for granted? Being the one to see the ‘firsts’, knowing the boys little quirks and habits and being their place of safety if something goes wrong? What if they’re not well? I can’t just call in sick as well. I’d have a dual responsibility to both my children and to my patients and employers.

I often find that mothers report of this constant niggle that they are doing a sub optimal job at every aspect in their life. They can’t progress as quickly in work. They aren’t there enough for their children. They aren’t there enough for their husbands, or their friends. They find discipline hard to execute when they’ve been away from their children all day. They don’t get to work out as much as they did previously.

They lack confidence.

I often write a little take home message at the end of my thoughtful posts. Yet sadly, there isn’t really one for this. The way society has evolved is still a little crooked. Mums are often the default primary care giver with few compensations given in the workplace.
Yet, mums (and especially mine) are great. And every mum in the society of motherhood understands how utterly impossible it is to truly master the juggle between work and being the mum that you truly want to be to your deserving children.

#motherhood #life #wellness #health #work #play #medicine #mumsinmedicine #mydubai #social #mentalhealth