Hit and Run
I have always enjoyed populating this page. One of the few great things about social media is that it allows those that house deep burning desires to write, to be actors, to be creative, to sing, to shout about something that is important to them or to simply create an online prescence that makes them feel better about themselves, can do so.
Personally, I find it therapeutic. I work in a scientific industry with a love of research and statistics, yet I yearn to be more creative and to express myself. When I do not have the opportunity, I become stifled and a little suffocated. You could say that this page replaces the bulimic years of my life. Getting rid of something that is shoved inside of me.
Likewise, I also fear…and I mean fear…people’s negative responses. Social media conversely can be incredibly narcisstic, sometimes arrogant and inspire self loathing amognst others looking on and admiring that well sculptured physique model, that engagement ring that you have not been given or that family community that you do not have.
My concerns are constantly,
‘Do people think I am stupid?’
‘My page is too inconsistent and random!’ ‘Does anyone even care about what I have to say?’
‘Why am I supporting social media despite my feelings regarding its impact on mental health?’
However giving in to my fears, like I have been doing, allows me to become a little more invisible, a little more anorexic in my desire to hide from people’s perceptions of me.
It took a lot of courage to create an open and intimate page that shows my wacky side, my more serious side, my deep side, my geek side, my love of health matters side, my cosmetic side, my strive for fitness and balance and my side that is hugely in touch with mental health.
So, I don’t expect you to follow the page, like the page or even read my stupidly long waffling posts. But I thank you, and the joys of the internet (despite its consequence on pub quizzes), for allowing me this little internet footprint to be simply me.
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